Rock bottom

Yesterday was a great day but today turned it around.
Yesterday I learned that my employment wouldn't be terminated from my job due to bedrest therefore my insurance is still in effect and I will be getting short term disability. I had been told last week that I was going to be terminated and my insurance discontinued on the last day of December. I was trying to figure out how I was going to do my doctor's appointments and save money while not working.
Today I woke up feeling positive, I had an appointment with the peri and because things had been going great, I foolishly assumed that things would be the same. My AFI is 17 which is great but they couldn't see my cervix on the ultrasound so said I needed a transvaginal one. I didn't want to because of my fear of infection but they explained that they needed to check my cervix. My cervix is at 2.2cm and now I'm being referred to the hospital for a cerclage. I know that if this can be done and I remain on strict bedrest things could still be ok but I'm so depressed because it's hard. I never thought during my first pregnancy that I would even be going through this. The worst feeling I have is that my baby is healthy and progressing the way that she should but that she might not survive because my body won't cooperate. I feel horrible because she is innocent and precious and I feel that I should be protecting her and can't cause of my body. I just don't know what else to do or feel.