Graduated!

I know it's not much but I officially graduated from once a week appointments to every other week. The latest AFI that we got today at the peri's office was 11.3 and my cervix is still closed.... My blood test results are also good so no infection. I will be having a blood test every week to check to make sure my white cell counts are staying low. Fun times. I'm staying positve and looking more and more towards seeing my little girl.

This week we started buying things and we ordered the bassinet. I'm lucky that one of my friends is giving me her baby clothes and my mom is putting the travel system and crib on layaway tomorrow. Yay! 

Anatomy Scan

I had my anatomy scan today. It was already scheduled before my water broke and I was nervous. I haven't been feeling the baby move much and since my mom took my doppler away (apparently I've been using it too much) I've been worried. So we get there and the first thing we see on the screen is a fibroid. Ugh.........Turns out I have a total of 4 instead of the 2 that we thought I had. Fibroids are known to cause the sac to weaken which gives us more to think about. That makes me more worried but we will deal with it as we can. The best news is that she is growing right on schedule and my AFI is now up to 10.65. This is supposedly in the low normal range. It's little steps like this that make me so hopeful and so happy that I wasn't asked to terminate. I went from 1.8cm 2 weeks ago to this. Just have to keep thinking positive. I still have to see my OB tomorrow and the peri on Wednesday but things are looking great now.

Christmas Morning.

Sorry for the lapse in updating. This past few days has been hectic and crazy. I found out that I have/had an infection on Wednesday which caused my world to spiral, luckily, it wasn't so serious that it could compromise me or the baby so I got the antibiotics that I needed and I'm good. Then Wednesday afternoon I was informed by my employer that because of my bedrest status being indefinite, they were going to let me go because I don't qualify for FMLA yet. I've only been there for 8 months and I understand that part but........I was hoping that the STD that I have been paying for would allow me some time with insurance and income. Unfortunately that's not the way it goes. I'm not going to stress or worry. I don't have time for that and it's not good for my baby. By the way, I feel that when I get to Saturdays that my week is almost over and it's so much closer to meeting another goal. We have the anatomy scan on Monday, my regular OB appointment on Tuesday and my now regular appointment with the Peri on Wednesday, very busy week. Ok all, that's it for my updates today, its 6am on Christmas morning and I should be resting because David is coming over for the holiday with my family and then I get to go home for 2 days! Yay!!! I hope everyone has a great day and remember to keep thinking positive.

Really good day today.

A quick update from me. I went to the ER around 1am last night because the pain was so unbearable. I had a pelvic exam done, everything looks good, so they gave me an IV to rehydrate and a vicodin for the pain. I fell asleep almost instantly. I hadn't slept since Sat/Sun night. I went to see my OB today and he gave me an Rx for the Vicodin to take as needed so at least I'll have something to help. We saw the baby on the ultrasound and there is more fluid there than last week. I love my doctor because he lets us be hopeful without hoping too much. He thinks it's great that there is more and I saw my little bean moving and waving. Went to see the Peri as well today and I really think I'm going to like him alot. The first step was the ultrasound room where I got to see my little baby. The baby was moving around pretty well and we got lots of great pictures. She calculated that my AFI was around 8 but did say it's a guess because it's too early to divide my abdomen into quadrants. She did find out that the fibroids are what's causing the pain, in fact when she was pushing on my sore spot there was a big fibroid. I also got to find out that we are having a GIRL!! I'm so excited! After the ultrasound, we met with the doctor. He was very informative and explained alot, even the bad. He didn't tell me to terminate or encourage it, he just asked what my thoughts were. I told him that I wanted to keep going until I couldn't go anymore and he said great. He says that he is happy to see the fluid, he says there is more than enough to help the baby's development. He did explain that the fibroids will cause the most problem, they are known to weaken the sac so we are watching the closely. I'll be seeing him every week until 24 weeks when we will decide if I need to be hospitalized.That's about it for now but at least we know that there is still hope.

Almost a week!

So I'm proud to say that I've almost done a week of this bedrest thing. Tomorrow will be the day my water broke and I went straight from the hospital to bedrest. So far so good. My mom has taken away my doppler because I've used it too much. It gives me peace of mind to hear my baby's heartbeating away though. Today is the start of my week at my mom's. Because of the holiday, we decided that instead of doing Sunday-Wednesday this week, I would stay until Saturday when David come to pick me up after we spend time together for the holiday. I think this first week was the hardest on everyone. Getting used to the scheduling and how to work out so that I'm always being taken care of. I know it's hard on David. I feel bad because his birthday is on Thursdayand I won't be with him, but he says he is fine. We will see. My mom is going to put a card in the mail for me for him. I have an appointment with  my OB on Tuesday and I'm hoping to hear if any fluid has replenished. I still have no leaking or gushing, and I'm drinking water like a camel preparing for a long trip. I've seen many success stories with this phenomenon so hopefully this will also be one. Tonight I'm going to take it easy (or as easy as I can get on bedrest) and enjoy the rest of the night with my family.

Positivity and heartbeat.

First I just wanted to thank everyone for the positive comments that have been left. It definitely helps. I'm very lucky to have such caring friends and family and it makes the situation not as bad. Support is going to be the number one thing that works for my motivation and peace of mind.
Last night I had some cramping, it felt like the cramping I've had when my uterus is growing but because of this ordeal I was paranoid. After spending $300 for the ER I have to admit, it wasn't my first thought to run back there again this week, especially if it was just normal. On the other hand, I do know that miscarriage and labor is a very real possibilty at this point. So I grabbed my doppler at 5:08am and hoped for the best. There it was, my baby's heart was just beating away. While I'm not an expert at counting, it sounded just like every other time I've heard it at the doctor and this baby has been consistent in the 150-160 range. So I'm remaining positive. This morning my mom came over to take care of me before she went home from work. My mom is my angel. She works from 10pm-8am but has been there for me and David since this happened. Today my mom helped me shower (it's still embarrassing for my mom to sit in the bathroom while I shower but I appreciate it) as well as brush my teeth and get dressed. Then she and David made my daily cooler (carrots, grapes, yogurt, crackers, beets and other random food items)and put it next to my bed and made me breakfast. My mom and I then had a good morning of watching The Price is Right before she left to go home. Before that though, my mom got the gift of listening to the baby on the doppler again. She doesn't want me checking every day (she even threatened to take the doppler home with her) and trust me, there was a reason for that. It took me 20 min to find the heartbeat and it was a miracle when it was found. This little baby is still moving around which makes me think positively as well. I've always had the saying "Positive thoughts" and now I'm really living it.I was able to call my OB's office regarding the referral to the high risk doctor and was told that it takes 3-5 days before they get the appointment time so I won't see him before I see my OB on Tuesday.  I unfortunately haven't made the goal of drinking a gallon of water in a day but I'm close.

Day 3

I don't intend to name each blog post by the days because I feel that will cause this process to go by longer but I just felt that day 3 was a good title for today. Today started with me waking up at my mom's house. I have been staying at her house since Monday because it's closer to my OB as well as to my hospital, and we felt it would be better in case something happened in those first few hours. After breakfast in bed, which isn't as special when you are forced to do it as much as if it were a treat, I did my wonderful sponge bath and got dressed with my mom's health. I just have to say that my mom has been WONDERFUL and I am so glad to have her. She then drove me home where she set up my bedroom and then left me to rest. I was able to rest and have a pretty "productive" morning until David came home from lunch. David made me lunch, we relaxed until I realized again that this was going to be my life (g-d willing) for the next 6 months. It hit me...In order to even have a small chance of bringing home a baby, I have to lay in bed for 6 months and that's not a guarantee. My doctor has told us to stay positive but to remain realistic and be prepared to lose our baby. That's hard when I see shows with drug addicted mothers who bring home healthy babies. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I eat healthy, so why is my baby at risk. David is being really awesome with this as well. He has been nothing but supportive. After he left to go back to work, I used the doppler ($30 and no one better ever talk about how bad my doppler is) and found the heartbeat. Strong! And the baby was on my right side, having moved from yesterday. Hearing this sound made me so happy I cried. This helped me relax enough to take a nap. Staying in bed is hard but I'm going to do what it takes for my baby. I'm trying to relax and stay relaxed but crying is going to be on my agenda for quite awhile. Steps I'm taking at this moment, drinking a gallon of water a day to help the baby replenish the amniotic fluid, laying flat as much as possible, trying to eat a ton as well in order to assist the baby in getting nutrients. I'm staying positive. I have to.

The scariest time of our lives.

Yesterday began the scariest moments of our lives started yesterday. While getting dressed to spend the day with my mom, my water broke. I, of course didn't know it was my water, in fact I was thinking that I peed myself while brushing my teeth. I decided to sit down to figure out if that's what happened and could find no information on the internet, so I stood up in order to finish getting dressed. That's when the flood gates opened. Water came gushing out of me and I knew something was wrong. I rushed to the bathroom where I sat on the toilet. After the water was done, I got up to clean up and change again when more flooded out of me. By this time I was FREAKING OUT. I told David that we needed to go to the hospital. I called my doctor's office and was told to go to the emergency room, I called my mom and told her to meet us there and we left. We live 30 miles from the hospital and the drive was nervewracking. We got there and my mom had beat us there, we checked in and I was immediately put into a wheelchair. By this time, I was still leaking but not gushing and since being pregnant I don't keep pads around, I was using paper towels (my mom did ask me this morning why I didn't grab towels and all I can say is I didn't think about it.) I was brought back to a room where the first thing done was a doppler was used to find the baby. We had a heartbeat of 150! So we knew the baby was still doing well so far. We still were unsure of what was leaking from me and the ER staff stated that they didn't have the litmus paper to determine if it was amniotic fluid so a pelvic exam was done. That's always fun. During this time, we are all just waiting but I told my mom to go home because I was only allowed to have one person with me and I didn't want her worrying in the waiting room for hours. The pelvic exam revealed that my cervix is still closed but nothing else was out of the ordinary. Since there was still no determination of what was coming out of me, an ultrasound was done. I tell you that was the longest hour and a half of my life. It took 30 minutes just to get to the ultrasound room and an hour for the ultrasound. I can only remember just how much I cried in that hour because the ultrasound pictures didn't look like anything I had seen before at my doctor's office. I know that now it's because the amniotic fluid is the dark stuff we usually see in the background, and because I have so little of it, there wasn't that dark outline. I thought I saw a heartbeat during one of the times I looked at the screen but couldn't be sure. The whole time was depressing, especially when it took 3 techs to get the pictures needed, one of them being very visibly pregnant. Just a side note, when a woman might be in the process of losing their baby, maybe sending the pregnant woman in to do the ultrasound isn't the best choice. After the ultrasound was the wait, because the techs couldn't tell us anything. When we were returned to the ER, we waited for the doctor to come and tell us the results. We got a PA who came to tell us that yes, my water did break and that I was at high risk for losing the baby. She spoke with my doctor who stated that I needed to be on strict bedrest. I'm only allowed to be up to go to the bathroom. I will do what I can to get through this. I saw my doctor today and he stated that we are at a very high risk and I will be seeing a high risk doctor. I will also be seeing my doctor once a week until this is resolved. We do have a chance however, we saw the baby today and there was a heartbeat still! My doctor has stated that if I stay on bedrest, and if my placenta seals over, and there is no more leaking (which we haven't since yesterday at the ER) then the baby and I can replenish fluid. I'm not sure how long I will be on bedrest but hopefully those great things will happen.